Growth and Its Ingredients Leaders Guide

Join the Conversation:

Record thoughts and questions here that come up as you watch the episode.  Explore them later with the group.
Listen to God’s Word: Ephesians 4:11-16




Discuss the Episode

1.Henry stated that immaturity is when we ask life to meet our demands and maturity is when we meet the demands of life.  What do you think of those descriptions?  What came to mind as you heard them?

2.Do you think growing up—becoming mature—is a spiritual issue?  Does it matter to God? Can we be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature?  

3.When Don asked Henry how we grow and mature, he responded that it is essential to submit ourselves to a connected, relational community of some sort.  Why do you think community is such an important part of growing in maturity?

4.The ingredients of growth are grace and truth over time, working together.  Have you ever experienced a situation where there was grace but no truth (no structure or accountability)?  A situation where there was truth but no grace (no relationship or acceptance)?  What challenges have you had in your own life balancing the two?

5.Describe a person or community in the past or present with whom you experienced grace and truth over time.

Resources for Further Growth

Reflect on What Others Have to Say
Underline and mark ideas you would like to discuss.

Sometimes guilt is not a problem to be solved; instead, it is a symptom of the position one lives in.  If adults have not emotionally grown up to be equals—siblings—with other adults, as the Bible teaches (see Matt. 23:8-9), they will experience peers as parental figures.  They will fell “one-down” to others and therefore subject to people’s approval or judgment… People stuck in this position must see guilt as a sign that they have given other people the position of God-the-parent in their lives.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, How People Grow

Grace and truth together reverse the effects of the fall, which were separation from God and others.  Grace and truth together invite us out of isolation and into relationship.  Grace, when it is combined with truth, invites the true self, the “me” as I really am, warts and all, into relationship.  It is one thing to have safety in relationship; it is quite another to be truly known and accepted in this relationship.
Dr. Henry Cloud, Changes That Heal


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